Don’t Let Quarantine End in Divorce

We’ve all seen the memes suggesting divorce lawyers are anxiously awaiting the quarantine to be over because they are anticipating a lot of new clients. It’s funny to joke about, and humor is one way to survive these strange times. But, sadly, there is some truth to it.

According to Lu Shijun for MSN, “The divorce rate [in the district] has soared compared to before [the coronavirus outbreak]. Young people are spending a lot of time at home. They tend to get into heated arguments because of something petty and rush into getting a divorce." The officials in China believe this sharp increase in divorce requests is due to couples having to spend too much time together while quarantined.

Ouch. I certainly don’t want to come out of this quarantine and head straight to a divorce lawyer – and I’m sure you don’t either. That’s why I spent some time today researching tips to help couples survive the quarantine.

Use All Your Coping Skills

This situation is tough, and you shouldn’t pretend it isn’t. When you add in suddenly working remotely and homeschooling your kids, it is even tougher. That’s why it is important to use your coping skills. You may not be able to do the things you typically do to cope, such as heading to your favorite Cycle Bar class, but you should still do things that help you cope. Try meditation, adult coloring, listening to music, or taking a bath.

Take Breaks from Your Spouse

Most couples are not together 24/7. We go to separate jobs, and we have separate hobbies. Now, we are together all the time. And, healthy relationships require a little bit of distance now and then. Social distancing at home will make it harder, but you should make a point to take breaks from your spouse – even if that just means watching tv in separate rooms on occasion.

Plan for Romance

Yes, the restaurants are closed, but that doesn’t mean date nights have to end. Plan to put the kids to bed and enjoy a late dinner with your spouse. Get out of your PJs and wear something you would if you were going on a date. And take a shower. Get creative. I’ve even seen where some couples are embracing paint-at-home quarantine date nights by following YouTube videos.

Check-In Emotionally

Even though you are together all the time, it doesn’t mean you know what is happening in your spouse’s heart and mind. So, ask the questions. It is just as important (maybe even more so) to check-in emotionally with your spouse and make sure he is doing okay.

Keep Things in Perspective

One of the hardest parts of the COVID-19 quarantine is that we don’t have an official end date. This quarantine feels indefinite, but it isn’t. We will leave our houses and get back into somewhat normal routines. So when the going gets tough, remind yourself that your present state is not your permanent state.

Attend Virtual Therapy

Finally, if this quarantine does tend to bring some marital issues to the forefront, then you should consider attending virtual couples therapy. Don’t let this quarantine break you apart without putting up a good fight.