12 Parenting Tips for the Middle Years

I am right in the middle of middle childhood, which is defined as ages 6 to 12.

There is a lot of information out there about how to parent babies, toddlers, preschoolers, and even teenagers.

But, there is not nearly as much out there about raising children during their middle childhood years.

And, I sure wish there was more available because I am currently living with a 7-year-old who thinks she is 17!

According to On My Way: A guide to Support Middle Years Child Development, “Middle childhood is a period when children are exploring who they are and who they want to be, establishing basic skills and health habits, grappling with puberty, physical changes and gender roles, making friendships and forming attitudes about the world they live in, and taking first steps toward independence.”

With a 10-year-old and a 7-year-old, I need all the help I can get with parenting during the middle childhood years!

Here’s the best advice I’ve found.

1. Allow Some Independence

Middle childhood is all about growing independent, so it’s time to let go a bit, Mom. As they get older, let them do things without you.

2. Make Them Responsible

Along with independence, look for opportunities to teach your kids to be responsible. An age-appropriate way to do so is to start having kids do chores around the house.

Another way to teach responsibility is to encourage kids to take ownership of their schoolwork. Let them complete homework and projects independently and accept responsibility when they make mistakes.

3. Talk and Talk Some More

Open communication goes a long way during these years of growth. Kids are soaking up everything they are hearing during this stage, so you want your positive, helpful, caring voice to be the loudest of all.

4. Teach Healthy Habits

Middle childhood is critical when it comes to teaching healthy habits because kids are learning more independence. They need to know how to take care of themselves (such as personal hygiene, healthy eating, and getting enough sleep).

5. Listen Rather Than Lecture

We want to give our kids advice to succeed, but when advice-giving turns to lecturing, your kids will stop listening. Instead, give your kids ample time to explain their reasoning and talk about what is going on in their lives.

6. Set Realistic Expectations

We want our children to be successful. However, we need to make sure the expectations we set are realistic and reasonable. If you set goals and expectations that are too hard for a middle age child, he or she will feel defeated.

7. Support Their Strengths

Children in this stage are learning their strengths and weaknesses. When you and your child identify a strength, encourage them in this area.

Children.gov suggests, “Acknowledge what children are good at, and support them in doing those activities as often and as well as possible. Use the things they are good at, whatever those things might be, to help them build their self-confidence.”

8. Read, Read, Read

Even as your child reads independently, look for opportunities to read together. Choose chapter books that interested you at their age and share the stories with them.

9. Show Affection

The days of easy affection with your child will eventually come to an end, so take advantage of this stage when they are growing independent but still want (and need) hugs.

10. Have Fun Together

Many parents find they love the middle childhood stage because it is fun! Kids are just starting to be able to do fun activities alongside you, such as riding roller coasters and playing board games.

11. Start Some Traditions

The childhood memories your child will cling to really start to form during this life stage. So, this is the time to start embracing family traditions, such as family dinners and annual visits to apple orchards.

12. Praise Them Constantly

Last but not least, go out of your way to praise your child! Their self-esteem is developing during middle childhood, and you can help give it a boost by showing them they are loved.