Why Summer is So Hard for Moms

I’m going to admit something – this summer has been hard. I love my girls, and I look forward to spending time with them during summer. But summer is so hard for moms! Especially working moms. I know I’m not the only mom who feels this way – even if some of you are afraid to admit it.

Comedian Crystal Lowery wrote, “Why is summer so hard for parents? Because things have changed. When we were kids, we'd just run around town from dawn until dusk, unattended. Instead of mom slathering us with sunscreen, we burned, then peeled our damaged skin like molting snakes. Instead of sensible snacks, we'd ride our bikes to 711 to purchase fists-full of Jolly Ranchers and Atomic Fire Balls. Instead of parents entertaining us, we'd knock on our neighbor's doors and invite them out to play.”

Those days are long gone. Now, kids stay closer to home (and mom) all summer long, which makes summer exhausting.

Here are the main reasons moms struggle in the summer.

Lack of Childcare

I hate thinking of school as childcare, but the truth is I don’t have to find childcare during the school year between 8-3 because my girls go to school. For working moms, childcare during the summer is a whole thing. This is especially true when your kids are in the in-between ages – when they are too old for daycare or sitters and too young to stay home alone all day. We end up utilizing summer camps to fill the gap.

Fortunately, my girls love Chelsea Piers Summer Camp. Read all about it here!

Changes to the Routine

I am a creature of habit and so are my daughters. So, the transition from our regular school year routine to summer’s lack of routine is a challenge. Every summer, I try to create a summer routine or schedule – and it only lasts a couple of weeks before it falls apart between vacations, camps, and other outings. But when the routine disappears, the frustration begins.

Too Much Time Together

Sometimes summer provides too much time together for a family. For example, siblings are forced together for more time than usual, which results in more fighting. Being around fighting kids more often tries mom’s patience. And on and on. I love them, but I need a break. And there are far fewer breaks in the summer months.

Constant Need to Entertain

As a mom, I feel the constant pressure of society to ensure my girls are spending their time wisely and safely. So, if I allow them to binge watch TV all day, I feel guilty. If they complain they are bored, I feel like I have to find something fun and educational for them to do. And when I give up entertaining them, I have to listen to them whine and complain. It’s a lot easier to just hand them the remote or tablet.

All the Food

As my girls have gotten older, I have been amazed by how much they eat! This is especially true during the summer when they manage to eat a month’s worth of snacks in a weekend. I am constantly shopping for food and preparing food in the summer.

What makes summer hard for you? Share in the comments!

Simple Traditions for Busy Families to Embrace

I will never forget the time I asked a friend about her family traditions growing up and she told me they didn’t have any. I was shocked.

But, as I’ve gotten older, I have realized that many families don’t have traditions (or don’t think they do) because they put so much pressure on them.

We tend to think of traditions as being elaborate when they can really be something simple and routine.

For example, growing up, I enjoyed Saturday morning cartoons with Dad. It was a weekend tradition that we kept up until our Saturday mornings became filled with extracurriculars.

And these simple traditions matter!

According to Brett and Kate McKay, “Researchers have consistently found that families that engage in frequent traditions report stronger connection and unity than families that haven’t established rituals together.”

Here are 10 simple and easy traditions to help your family bond and make memories.

TV Night

My family loves a good dinner and TV night. Whether we watch a favorite show together or a movie, we enjoy sitting in front of the TV now and then for a chance to enjoy some quality entertainment together.

Family Walk

Another easy family tradition is the family walk (or family hike). You don’t always have to go to the same place. The key is to do it regularly, so it feels like a tradition.

Game Night

Some families love to play games with one another. If this is you, start planning regular game nights for your family. Have some key things you do each time, such as putting phones away and setting out snacks.

Taco Tuesday

A simple tradition to embrace is enjoying the same meal on the same night each week, such as Taco Tuesday or Meatless Monday. Kids like knowing what to expect – especially if what they are expecting is a meal they love.

Car Ride Chat

With my girls, I have started car ride chats on the way to and from places. I ask the same questions, so they know what to expect. We use the rose and thorn technique. We take turns sharing our daily rose, thorn, and bud. Your rose is the best part of your day, your thorn is something disappointing that happened, and your bud is something that you are looking forward to.

A Go-To Celebratory Restaurant

Many families have a go-to meal tradition without even realizing it. For example, do you tend to cook the same celebratory meal for birthdays or special occasions? Is there a certain restaurant your family likes to go to after a big win? These are traditions!

No Tech Thursday

Try to embrace a tech free day in your home regularly. At first, your kids won’t like the idea. However, if you are intentional about finding fun tech-free ways to spend the day, your kids will come to love it.

Community Service

A great tradition for families is serving their community together. Find an organization that shares your family’s values and volunteer regularly.

Read Together

Even as your kids get older, it is still nice to read together. While you may not read books together before bedtime, you can enjoy audiobooks on road trips or start a parent/child book club where you read books separately and then plan a special dinner to discuss them.

Milestone Trips

This family tradition takes a little more time and effort, but it’s worth it. I’m talking about the milestone birthday trip. We plan a special trip for each kid on milestone birthdays (10, 13, 16, and 18). It’s a special tradition and one our girls look forward to.

What traditions do you have in your family? Share them in the comments!

What You Should Do Every Morning

Mornings matter. How you start the day has a huge effect on the rest of your day.

It’s the reason we say, “Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed” when they have a foul attitude.

Curating a morning routine will go a long way towards improving your health – mental, physical, and emotional.

Here are ten things experts recommend doing every morning.

Wake Up at the Same Time

I’m going to give the tip that may the hardest tip of all first – wake up at the same time every day. And wake up earlier rather than later.

According to Women’s Health, “Research has shown that being a ‘morning person’ has major benefits for your health. Studies have shown that waking up earlier makes you feel happier and healthier, boosts your immune system, improves productivity and helps you maintain a healthy weight.”

Set an alarm on your phone and place your phone out of reach. This serves two purposes. 1 – You won’t be able to hit snooze. 2 – You won’t be able to scroll first thing in the AM.

Make Your Bed

It’s good to start your day with a win. Here’s an easy one – make your bed!

This simple activity will make you feel better about your To Do list and the day ahead.

Let the Light In

A simple habit I’ve developed is starting my day by letting the light in. I pull back the shades and open the blinds.

This signifies to my mind and body that the day has started. Plus, it has medical benefits.

Women’s Health reports, “Research out of Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine shows that those who are exposed to natural light earlier in the morning have lower BMIs regardless of diet, exercise, and other lifestyle factors.”

Stretch and Move

I’ll be honest. The older I get, the more my body needs stretching first thing in the morning. And that’s not a bad thing!

It’s wise to start your day with movement. Get your endorphins so you begin the day on a natural high with energy.

Wash Your Face

It doesn’t matter if you shower in the evening or the morning – you need to wash your face in the morning.

Not only is it good for your skin, but it is also good for your whole person. A few minutes of self-care in the morning is critical.

Drink Water

We all know the importance of drinking water, but many of us start our journey towards eight glasses a day later in the day. We should really start drinking water first thing in the morning.

According to NBC News, “We get dehydrated overnight (especially if nature calls and you’re using the bathroom in the pre-dawn hours) […] A glass or two of H2O first thing helps replenish your body’s hydration stores. It also starts your metabolism on the right foot (since the body relies on water to keep all your digestive processes running smoothly).”

Enjoy a Cup of Coffee

Take time each money to enjoy a cup of coffee. The key here is to enjoy it. The point isn’t drinking coffee – it is spending a few minutes to slow down and savor something before the busyness of the day fully begins.

Eat Breakfast at Home

In the past, I was guilty of grabbing something small and eating breakfast on the go. I have since learned that I feel better if I eat a healthy breakfast at home. It’s a great way to get your metabolism going and helps you eat something healthier than fast food on the go.

Meditate

Taking just a few minutes to sit, pause, and meditate makes a big difference. Women’s Health points out, “Research has found that practicing meditation is basically the holy grail for health, helping to reduce stress, manage anxiety, increase productivity, help weight loss, motivate you to exercise and make you a nicer person.”

Write or Review Your To Do List

The last thing I do before I head out the door is check my To Do list. Knowing what I need to do that day helps me make a plan and get busy.

What is your morning routine?

Budget-Friendly Back to School Shopping Tips

2022 has been rough on bank accounts, which is why now is the time to prepare for back to school shopping.

Sure, you still have a while before school starts back. But with inflation, it’s wiser to get a head start on back to school shopping.

One 2022 survey found, “Parents are worried about being able to fill backpacks thanks to ongoing supply chain issues, up 9 percentage points between April and May. The survey found that two-thirds of parents are very concerned about how inflation will impact school shopping.”

We are already seeing how inflation is affecting back to school shopping.

For example, inflation is hitting most industries – including school supplies. Sources suggest the price of school materials may rise by 10 to 25%.

Use these back to school shopping tips to protect your wallet.

Shop Your Closet First

Before you buy the first school supply or new outfit, check your closets!

My girls tend to bring home many school supplies that can be reused the next year, such as calculators, rulers, pens, and pencils.

Instead of buying everything brand new, only replace the items that need replacing.

As much as we love a new wardrobe, keep this same idea in mind.

Don’t buy several new pairs of jeans if the jeans your kids already have look good and fit.

Head to Overstock Stores

I love doing my back to school clothes shopping at overstock stores like T.J. Maxx.

I can purchase my girl’s designer goods at great prices, ensuring they look fabulous, and I have money left over for school supplies.

Shop Online and Kid-Free

When it comes to back to school shopping, try to do it alone.

It is much easier to shop for back to school clothing when your kids aren’t with you since they will want everything they don’t actually need (such as accessories) and items that are higher prices. Plus, it’ll take so much longer!

I find it is much easier to shop online for school supplies and clothing – especially if they offer easy returns.

Some stores, like Target, are even partnering with local schools to have items for school supply lists ready for online ordering.

Get School Supplies at the Drugstore

I always forget drug stores sell school supplies.

Drug stores, such as CVS and Walgreens, offer rewards, and you can use the rewards points you’ve been saving for name brand school supplies.

Use Discounted Gift Cards

Did you know you can purchase discounted gift cards and use them to shop like normal?

This is a great tip for back to school shopping and Christmas shopping.

Sites, such as CardBear, allow you to purchase a gift card for a specific retailer at a lower price.

For example, if you want to purchase a $25 Target gift card, CardBear will take you to a site that is offering the $25 gift card for $20.

Scan While You Shop

Before you purchase anything, do a price comparison.

If you are shopping in a store, use Amazon’s barcode scanner to do a quick price check.

If you are shopping online, use a browser extension, such as Price, to compare prices online for every item you shop for.

Sign Up for Price Drop Alerts

For more expensive purchases, such as school-required electronics, sign up for price drop alerts.

CamelCamelCamel is an easy to use price drop website that will send you a notification when the item you are looking for hits the price range you want.

Buy in Bulk with Friends

You’re not the only parent worried about inflation and back to school shopping.

Ask your friends (or parents of your kid’s classmates) if they are interested in buying supplies in bulk from a wholesaler like Sam’s Club or Amazon.

Then, split the costs using Venmo.

How to Prepare Kids for Real Life Emergencies

As much as we hope we’ll never have to call 9-1-1 or rush someone we love to the emergency room, it happens.

That’s why it is so important to prepare kids for real life emergencies.

A friend of mine recently shared something that happened to her that made me think about what my kids would do in a similar situation.

My friend’s daughter swallowed a large coin. My friend has an older child who was able to call their dad from their Alexa device while the mom was handling the daughter. The older child then knew to run to the neighbor’s house as the mom rushed the daughter to the nearest urgent care center.

Would my daughters know what to know in a real life emergency like the one she described?

I wanted to make sure, so I took the time to go over the following information.

Discuss Possible Real Life Emergencies

Kids need to know what qualifies as a real emergency and what doesn’t.

A lost toy doesn’t qualify as a real emergency. I reminded my girls of the story of the boy who cried wolf to emphasize the importance of only claiming something is an emergency when it truly is.

Then, we talked about real life emergencies, such as a major cut that requires stitches, when you might need an ambulance, car accidents, fires, etc.

Teach Kids When and How to Call 9-1-1

Once kids understand what qualifies as a real emergency where first responders are needed, such as mommy being hurt and unable to move, they need to know how to call 9-1-1.

While 9-1-1 is only a three-digit number, it requires more than three steps on a mobile device.

For example, you need to teach your kids how to 9-1-1 on your phone – especially if you keep your phone locked.

Teach them how to find the emergency button that allows them to override your passcode protection and then how to dial 9-1-1.

They also need to know what to say once they call 9-1-1. They’ll need to know your address, calmly explain what has happened, and listen to the operator’s instructions.

Talk About What to Do and Where to Go

In some types of emergencies, it is more appropriate to get help from someone close by.

For example, I have told my daughters to run to our neighbor next door. We have a good relationship with our neighbors and trust that they would help my daughters.

We also talked about the types of emergencies that require you to leave the home (fires and intruders).

Explain How to Reach Others

If your kids are too young for their own phones and you don’t have a shared phone in your home, how will your kids reach others in the event of an emergency (such as dad and grandparents)?

You can teach your kids how to use Alexa or Siri to call these people, write their numbers on a dry erase board, or add identifiable emojis to their names in your phone’s contacts.

Show Kids Where to Find First Aid Supplies

It is also important to show kids where you keep your first aid supplies.

We keep our first aid kit in a pantry where they can reach it. They know where it is because they tend to need a lot of Band-aids.

It also gives peace of mind knowing I could yell at them to get it if we needed something quickly, such as wound seal for a cut that will require stitches.

Model Appropriate Behavior

Finally, I am trying to remember that how I respond in an emergency will greatly affect how my children respond. If I panic, they’ll panic. If I act scared, they’ll be scared. My goal is to try to stay calm during any real life emergencies.

What advice would you add? Tell me in the comments.

End of the School Year Survival Tips

We’re coming up on the end of the school year, which tends to feel like the longest, hardest stretch of the entire year.

My girls are finished. They are ready for summer, and so am I. We are so thankful for a relatively normal school year compared to the last couple of years.

But we are tired.

Hours feel like days. Days feel weeks. Weeks feel like months.

How do you finish strong when you just feel done?

Here are my tips for surviving the end of the school year.

1. Say No Often

May and June can feel busier than December. There are school concerts, award ceremonies, and parties.

On top of all the busyness happening during the school hours, there are tons of activities taking place after school, such as recitals.

If you don’t have time to do anything extra during these final few weeks of school, just say no.

2. Utilize a Family Calendar

Again, there are so many events parents are expected to be at. This is especially hard for working parents.

Make sure you utilize a family calendar so that you can divide and conquer the end of the school year sprint.

3. Create an End of the Year Countdown

Give your family a reason to keep going. Create an end of the year countdown calendar.

4. Stay Focused on the Goal

When you are tired and ready to call it quits, stay focused on the goal. And help your kids stay focused.

Remind them why they go to school and why they need to keep learning until the last day.

5. Prepare Teacher Gifts

Don’t let teacher gifts sneak up on you.

Go ahead and buy the gift cards, order the personalized gift, or write the thank you card.

6. Stick to Your Routine

Don’t let your normal routine fall to the wayside.

Stick to what’s worked all year.

Now is not the time to let kids stay up past bedtime or start doing homework in front of the TV.

7. Book Summer Camps

Summer camps are going to be back in full force this summer, so you should expect them to fill up quickly.

If you haven’t booked summer camps yet, now is the time.

Plus, this gives your kids something to look forward to and help them continue working hard.

8. Plan Summer Vacations

Like summer camps, travel experts are expecting summer travel to increase.

According to Destination Analysts, “Overall enthusiasm for leisure travel and the number of anticipated leisure trips in 2022 are also on the rise. This week 72.8% of Americans expressed higher levels of excitement for their prospective travel future—reaching the highest level it's been since the Omicron wave began.”

9. Clean Out Bookbags

If your kids are anything like mine, their bookbags are a mess.

They bring home all sorts of papers I need to see and sign – the end of the year seems to have double the usual amount.

Make sure you stay on top of daily bookbag cleanings to avoid missing out on important information.

10. Restock Supplies

Remember, school is not over yet.

Check with your child’s teacher and see if any school supplies are needed. Pencils, paper, and tissues tend to be running really low at the end of the year.

Ways to Celebrate AAPIHM (Asian American Pacific Islander Heritage Month)

As an Asian American woman, wife, and mother, I look forward to celebrating my family’s heritage each May during Asian American Pacific Islander Heritage Month (AAPIHM).

As one of the 23 million Americans who identify as AAPI, I am happy to see that AAPIHM is becoming bigger across the country. But it still has a long way to go.

Here are some ideas for incorporating AAPIHM celebrations into your own home.

What to Know About Asian American Pacific Islander Heritage Month

Here are some fast facts about AAPIHM:

• Asian American Pacific Islander Heritage Month was originally a week signed into law by President Carter in 1978, designating a week to celebrate the AAPI community.

• President George H. W. Bush signed a bill in 1990 that extended the week into the entire month, and President Obama changed the name to Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month in 2009.

• According to GoodGoodGood, “Lawmakers chose May because of its historical significance for the AAPI community. It commemorates the immigration of the first Japanese people to the United States, as well as Golden Spike Day (May 10, 1869), which marked the completion of the transcontinental railroad, largely built by Chinese laborers.”

• AAPI stands for Asian American and Pacific Islander. The term describes a diverse and fast-growing population of Americans representing roughly 50 ethnic groups from more than 40 countries.

It doesn’t matter if you are AAPI or not; you can still celebrate this special month.

Watch AAPI Movies

Spend some time this month watching movies featuring actors from the AAPI community.

If you are looking for movies to watch with your kids, check out this list of 8 Movies to Watch On Disney+ To Celebrate Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month.

In addition, HBO Max is offering an Asian American and Pacific Islander Voices collection.

And Netflix subscribers have access to its Celebrate Asian American and Pacific Islander Stories collection.

Head to a Museum

Museums across the country feature AAPI exhibits, so this is the ideal time to visit a museum.

Check out this list from House Beautiful of Art Museums That Honor the AAPI Community, such as The Asian Art Museum of San Francisco.

Learn About Other Cultures

I was born in Hong Kong and am a proud member of the AAPI community, but that doesn’t mean that I know everything about each ethnicity that composes this beautiful community of people.

For example, as an Asian American, there is a lot I could learn about Pacific Islanders. So I’m using this special month to learn about other cultures.

Read Books by AAPI Authors

Another way to recognize AAPIHM is to read books written by AAPI authors, such as Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng.

You can find several choices in Good Housekeeping’s 34 Entertaining and Enlightening Books by Asian Authors.

Enjoy Different Cuisines

It’s no secret that I love food. So AAPIHM is the perfect excuse for me to eat all the delicious dishes I grew up eating with my family and enjoy new-to-me foods from other AAPI cultures.

Serve the Community

One of the greatest things I have come across is the Heart of Dinner in New York City.

Heart of Dinner is a nonprofit that provides meals to elders of the AAPI community, who are often vulnerable. Those in New York can volunteer to pack meals, deliver meals, write notes, or work behind the scenes. If you live anywhere else in the world, you can donate.

How do you plan to recognize AAPIHM?

Treat Yourself This Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day takes place this Sunday. While I have had many wonderful Mother’s Days and enjoyed several homemade crafts, I have learned to lower my expectations.

My husband and my daughters try their best to make me feel special, but sometimes there are things I want that they just don’t know how to give me.

That’s why I always try to find at least one way to treat myself on Mother’s Day. Here are a few suggestions if you want to follow my lead.

Have Your Car Cleaned

Mom’s cars are notoriously messy. Why? Because kids! In addition to all the trash they leave behind, there are crushed bits of food on the floorboards and stains on the mats. So this Mother’s Day, consider getting your car cleaned and detailed.

Let Someone Else Clean Your House

If you can make it happen with your budget, use Mother’s Day as an excuse to pay someone to do a deep house cleaning. You’re busy working and taking care of kids – let someone else clean the baseboards!

*If you can’t afford it, ask your spouse or kids to clean for you as your Mother’s Day gift.

Enjoy a Spa Treatment

If you can swing it, treat yourself to a full spa day. Book a manicure or pedicure if you can’t spend four hours at the spa. And if you are really limited, treat yourself to an at-home spa day. Pull out your supplies and lock the bedroom door.

Sit in Silence

I love my girls, and I love being a mom. But sometimes I miss a quiet house (I know I will miss all the noise one day!). Sometimes the best way to treat myself is simply slipping outside and sitting in silence for a few minutes.

Don’t Cook

Use Mother’s Day to get out of cooking or cleaning the dishes. Instead, go to your favorite restaurant (don’t forget to make a reservation to avoid long Mother’s Day waits). Order your favorite food in. Or allow your family to cook for you.

Go to Your Favorite Store Alone

There are few things as relaxing to me as wandering the aisles of Target or T.J. Maxx alone. So, on Mother’s Day, may you find the time to wander your favorite store aimlessly, without children asking you to buy them everything or feeling rushed to get home.

Eat Something You Regularly Wouldn’t

Mom eating typically involves eating foods my girls will also eat. On Mother’s Day, I am going to eat what I want to eat. No kid-friendly menus for me! It is also a day when calories don’t count, so I will indulge in delicious treats and drinks.

Splurge on the Shoes and the Bag

It’s no secret that I love shoes and bags, so it shouldn’t be a surprise that I think both make perfect Mother’s Day gifts. If I don’t unwrap one from my family, I may just treat myself.

Take a Nap

Moms are tired. No matter what stage you are in as far as parenting goes, you are tired. So take time today to get a nap. Ideally, after the delicious lunch someone else cooked for you.

Control the Remote

On Mother’s Day, you get to control the remote! No kids TV for you. Binge-watch your favorite shows or catch up on that series you’ve been dying to watch.

Sleep In

Start your Mother’s Day the right way by sleeping in. If the kids are old enough, let them take care of themselves in the morning. (Helpful tip – leave out the remote and a box of cereal on the counter). If they aren’t old enough, ask your partner to take care of them for you in the morning.

Let Go of Guilt

On Mother’s Day, try to let go of the guilt. All moms carry around some mom guilt. Sadly, most of this guilt isn’t even relevant. It’s baggage about stuff that doesn’t really matter in the long run (such as not making elaborate school lunches). On Mother’s Day, remind yourself why you are a good mom.

Happy Mother’s Day!

6 Winter Break Ideas for Families

I know it seems like we just had a holiday break, but winter break in February will be here before you know it.

For most schools, winter break or mid-winter recess is just a couple of days off of school, which generally gives you a four-day weekend.

This short mini-break is one of my favorite school holidays because it is short and quick, but it gives you the break you need to make it until spring break.

With that being said, now is the time to plan winter break. Don’t wait until the week before to try to book a hotel, or you risk higher prices and no vacancies!

Enjoy a Staycation

One of my favorite winter break ideas for families is to simply enjoy a staycation. A four-day weekend isn’t long enough to go on a huge trip, but it is plenty of time to enjoy different places around where you live.

Visit a museum, go to a zoo, or explore a new park. Get outdoors, exercise, see some new sights, and visit familiar favorites.

Go Somewhere Warmer

If you live in a cold climate, head somewhere warmer. Take a road trip south or hop on a plane and enjoy a couple of days at the beach. Soak up the sun.

Go Somewhere Colder

If you are all about the winter weather, head somewhere colder. Book a trip at a ski resort and enjoy watching your littles go snow tubing. Bundle and enjoy someplace frigid.

Visit Family

I think a long weekend is a perfect time to visit family. You don’t have to worry about overstaying your welcome or looking for an excuse to leave early. This works really well if you weren’t able to see your family over the holidays.

Catch Up On Your To-Do List

If you’re like me, you made a big list of things you wanted to accomplish in the new year. And if you are like me, many of the items on this list haven’t been tackled yet – much less fully completed things.

The problem is that people always plan to put things off for Spring Cleaning, but I would much rather go on a spring break trip than stay home and work around the house. But, I feel much better about “working” during a short winter break.

Be Lazy

Or… you can do the complete opposite! Don’t make any big plans. Instead, stay home and catch up on sleep. Let the kids binge watch TV and play hours of Minecraft. Read some books. Play some board games. Relax and simply enjoy one another’s company.

Plan for Spring and Summer

One final idea for winter break is to spend your days off planning for your longer days off (aka spring break and summer break). Use this time to make bigger plans for the near future. Start shopping for your spring and summer wardrobe. Start researching vacation spots.

What are your plans for the February winter break? Tell me in the comments!

10 Tips to Make Family Dinners a Success

Sitting together and enjoying a meal together is important for families.

Anne Fishel, the executive director of the Family Dinner Project, tells Harvard EdCast, “I'm a family therapist, and I sort of half joke that I could be out of business if more families had regular family dinners because so many of the things that I try to do in family therapy actually get accomplished by regular dinners. There have been more than 20 years of dozens of studies that document that family dinners are great for the body, the physical health, the brains and academic performance, and the spirit or the mental health […].”

But, even though we know family dinners are beneficial, it doesn’t mean that they are always easy to pull off.

Life is busy, kids are picky, and sometimes conversations are awkward.

Here are ten tips to make family dinners a success.

1. Choose Quality Over Quantity

First, let go of the pressure to have a perfect family dinner every night of the week. As kids get more involved in extracurriculars, that just isn’t possible. Plus, if you attempt to do it every night, it loses some special glow. So instead, pick out a couple of nights of the week where you are going to go all-in for family dinner instead of making it something to check off your to-do list every night.

2. Plan Ahead

If you want your family dinners to be successful, you gotta plan for them to be successful. That means sitting down and looking at the calendar and seeing which evenings you actually have the time to do a real family dinner. Then, make it a priority. Put it on the calendar.

3. Order Meal Services

If grocery shopping and cooking stress you out (or you just don’t have time), sign up for meal delivery services. There are so many different options. You can choose to make your own grocery list and have groceries delivered, or you can order a meal kit that comes with all the supplies needed to cook an entire meal.

4. Get Kids Involved

Make dinner a family affair. Allow the kids to help you choose which meals. Let the kids help you cook. Have them set the table before and do the dishes after.

5. Encourage Conversations

Sometimes conversation doesn’t come naturally. If you are in a season when kids are less talkative, have an idea of some things to talk about during dinner. One idea is to go around and ask everyone to share the rose (the good) and thorn (the bad) of their day.

6. Cook Quick and Eat Slow

Remember, the idea of a family dinner is quality over quantity. You aren’t going to have quality time together or quality conversations if you are rushing. Instead, choose to spend less time in the kitchen and more time around the table. Sometimes this means just ordering pizza.

7. Include Yourself in the Conversation

One of the best things for your kids to see is you being a real person and not just a mom. You can do this by including yourself in the dinner time conversation. Share about your day, express your joys, fears, and frustrations. Let the table be the place where kids see you be the real you.

8. Turn Off Distractions

Make the table a distraction-free zone. Instead of looking at a screen, look across the table into each other’s eyes.

9. Celebrate Special Events

Make it normal and expected to celebrate special events with a family dinner. Whether it is a birthday, job promotion, or a school award, celebrate it together with dinner around the table.

10. Enjoy One Another’s Company

Last but not least, family dinners shouldn’t feel forced. They should be times when you get to laugh, relax, and enjoy one another’s company. Make it something you all look forward to rather than something you have to do.