How to Be There for a Friend When You Can’t Be There

The older I get, the more important my female friendships are to me. It’s hard to make new friends as an adult, so I try really hard to maintain those friendships I already have. But as we’ve gotten older, we’ve spread our wings and moved farther and farther away from each other. Fortunately, long-distance friendships are possible to maintain.

However, when my long-distance friends are going through one of life’s battles (cancer, illness, death, divorce, etc.), there is nothing I want more than to be there with her and give her a shoulder to cry on. But it isn’t always possible to actually be there sometimes. When I want to be there for my friend, but I can’t physically be there, here are some of the things I do.

1. Give Her Space to Talk

Sometimes all you need is someone to listen to – especially if you are going through a tough time. I try to give my friends the space to talk. I call or video chat after the kids are in bed or during lunch break in private, so I can give her my full attention.

2. Order Food

Food is much-needed sustenance, but if your suffering friend lives far away, you can’t drop off a meal on her doorstep or take her to a restaurant. But there are still plenty of ways you can her with delicious, nutritious food from far away. Consider ordering a meal for her via UberEATS or DoorDash. Order grocery delivery to her home address.

3. Send Funny Notes and Texts

Let her know you’re thinking of her by sending her texts regularly. Try to lift her spirits by sending her funny memes or jokes. Snail mail is also a great option.

4. Brighten Her Day with Flowers

Flowers are a wonderful way to show someone you care. In addition to ordering from an online florist, you can also use delivery services like DoorDash to pick up flowers from local supermarkets.

5. Mail a Care Package

Take time to assemble a package of items that your friend either needs or things that will simply show you know her and love her. For example, if your friend is going through cancer treatments, prepare a package with items that will make treatments easier. If your friend is going through a divorce, send her a package of items that give her a reason to remember she will laugh and love again.

6. Hire Someone to Help

If your friend is overwhelmed and can’t do everything she needs to do, find a way to provide assistance from afar. Does she have a dog she can’t walk? Look into hiring a dog walker via Rover. Does she need help with cleaning her home? See if you can find a house cleaning service. Is mowing the lawn too difficult? Hire a landscaping company to do a one-time cleanup.

7. Create a Playlist

A simple and easy way to show your friend you are thinking of her is to create a Spotify playlist just for her. Find songs that will inspire her and encourage her to keep fighting. Every time she plays it, she will feel a little better and will be reminded of her long-distance BFF.

8. Enjoy a Shared Interest

Take her mind off what she’s going through with a shared distraction. Suggest watching a new show together using the Netflix watch party feature. Find a book you can both read and then plan a time to discuss it with one another.

9. Help Her Relax

While you may not be able to go on a girl’s spa weekend with your friend, you can still help her feel pampered from far away. Put together a gift package full of at-home spa supplies. Or present her with a gift certificate to visit a local spa or nail salon for some much-needed R&R.

10. Don’t Wait for Her to Ask

My final tip is to not wait for your friend to ask for help. Too often, we have good intentions and say something like, “Let me know if you need any help.” The problem is that it can be hard to ask for help when you are going through something difficult. Instead of putting it on your friend to ask for help, look for ways you can help her and do them.

The Perfect Fall Day in New York for Families

Fall officially begins next week, and I am already itching to enjoy the perfect fall day in New York with my family! What I love about fall is that there are tons of activities to enjoy in the cooler weather. We simply have to find a free weekend day and we can experience all that has to offer.

So, then next time you have a free day and the weather is nice, use this as a basic planning guide.

Put on Your Cutest Fall Attire

The time has finally arrived to pull out your favorite fall fashion – boots, shawls, and boho chic. On the perfect fall day, you want to be picture-perfect for all the insta-worthy locales you’ll visit.

Start Your Day at the Farmer’s Market

Pick up a pumpkin spice from your favorite coffee shop and head to a local farmer’s market. In addition to picking up fresh produce and flowers, you can also enjoy a delicious fall breakfast of warm apple cider donuts. Fall doesn’t feel like fall until I taste it.

Head Out to Higher Elevations

After you’ve spent time wandering the farmer’s market, head up to higher elevations outside the city. The view of the beautifully changing fall foliage is worth the view. But I like to cap off my fall drive with a visit to one of the nearby apple orchards. We get a bushel of apples and take tons of pictures.

Stop for Pumpkins on the Way Home

As we head home, I like to stop at one of the local farms for pumpkins. We get several for carving and decorating. In addition to the fun of hunting for pumpkins, many of the local farms have other activities for kids to enjoy, such as hayrides.

TIP –If you are itching to decorate your pumpkin, choose to paint it instead of carving it too early.

Spend Time in the Kitchen

Take a break at home to do some fall cooking. Take some of the apples you picked and turn them into tasty treats. I love this simple healthy (and delicious) recipe for cinnamon apple chips. All you have to do is slice the apples, coat them in cinnamon and sugar, and bake them. Another simple healthy fall snack to make is roasted pumpkin seeds.

Visit the Illuminated Pumpkin Display

One of the best ways to spend an evening with your family in fall in New York is to visit The Great Jack O’Lantern Blaze in Hudson Valley. These enormous, illuminated pumpkin display 9with over 7,000 pumpkins) lights up from September to November.

Curl Up and Watch a Spooky Movie

Finish the evening by curling up together and watching a spooky (or not-so-spooky) Halloween movie on Disney Plus. Don’t forget that Hocus Pocus 2 premieres on September 30th! Now is also the perfect time to enjoy some of the treats you made in the afternoon.

What perfect fall day activities have I missed? Let me know in the comments!

Must-Do’s for National Preparedness Month

September is National Preparedness Month, which focuses on helping families prepare for disasters and emergencies.

The 2022 theme is A Lasting Legacy. Ready.gov explains, “The life you’ve built is worth protecting. Prepare for disasters to create a lasting legacy for you and your family.”

As much as we’d like to believe we’ll never face an emergency, we can’t know that for sure. That’s why it is so important to have a plan.

Often, moms put off preparing for emergencies because it seems overwhelming. It doesn’t have to be.

Make it your goal this September to cross the following must-dos for National Preparedness Month off your list.

Make a Plan

The first thing you need to do is make a plan for emergencies, such as where you go and how you’ll get there. Talk this plan through with each of your family members and practice it if you can. The American Red Cross has an excellent Family Disaster Plan template.

Stock Up on Essentials

The next thing you need to do is stock up on emergency essentials, such as:

• First aid kit

• Batteries

• Flashlights

• Weather radio (battery power or hand crank)

• Nonperishable food items

• Water

In addition to simply owning the above items, it is also important to pack a family emergency kit. This kit should include the essentials for your family in case of an emergency that is easy to grab and go in the event of an emergency.

If you want to pack your own emergency kit, see FEMA’s Emergency Supply Checklist. If you don’t have time to put one together yourself, you can purchase a pre-made emergency kit from the American Red Cross, which includes first aid supplies, emergency food, and other essentials.

Know How to Communicate

A major part of being prepared is communication. Begin by making sure you have signed up for emergency notifications on your mobile device. Find out if there is a separate alert system for where you live.

Next, make sure your kids know how to contact you in the event of an emergency and how you can reach them when they are in school or daycare.

Update Information

It’s important to keep your important personal information updated. Think of September or National Preparedness Month as the perfect time to go through your documents and make sure everything is up to date and correct.

It is also wise to invest in a fireproof and waterproof safe to store all of your family’s important documents.

Check Devices

During National Preparedness Month, go through your home and check all of your safety devices. This is the ideal time to make sure your smoke detectors and carbon monoxide alarms are working (and change the batteries if they are not).

Pack Your Trunk

Don’t forget to be prepared for emergencies on the road. Take time to make sure your trunk has the following essentials for winter weather:

• Flashlight

• Flares

• Jumper Cables

• Blankets

• Car window breaker

• No-Spill Gas Can

• First Aid Kit

• Solar-powered cell phone charger

• Bottled water

• Nonperishable food

• Waterproof poncho

• Change of clothes

• Multi-tool

Failing to plan is planning to fail. While we hope we will never have to use these emergency plans and tools, we’ll be glad we have them should we need them.

What You Should Do Every Morning

Mornings matter. How you start the day has a huge effect on the rest of your day.

It’s the reason we say, “Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed” when they have a foul attitude.

Curating a morning routine will go a long way towards improving your health – mental, physical, and emotional.

Here are ten things experts recommend doing every morning.

Wake Up at the Same Time

I’m going to give the tip that may the hardest tip of all first – wake up at the same time every day. And wake up earlier rather than later.

According to Women’s Health, “Research has shown that being a ‘morning person’ has major benefits for your health. Studies have shown that waking up earlier makes you feel happier and healthier, boosts your immune system, improves productivity and helps you maintain a healthy weight.”

Set an alarm on your phone and place your phone out of reach. This serves two purposes. 1 – You won’t be able to hit snooze. 2 – You won’t be able to scroll first thing in the AM.

Make Your Bed

It’s good to start your day with a win. Here’s an easy one – make your bed!

This simple activity will make you feel better about your To Do list and the day ahead.

Let the Light In

A simple habit I’ve developed is starting my day by letting the light in. I pull back the shades and open the blinds.

This signifies to my mind and body that the day has started. Plus, it has medical benefits.

Women’s Health reports, “Research out of Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine shows that those who are exposed to natural light earlier in the morning have lower BMIs regardless of diet, exercise, and other lifestyle factors.”

Stretch and Move

I’ll be honest. The older I get, the more my body needs stretching first thing in the morning. And that’s not a bad thing!

It’s wise to start your day with movement. Get your endorphins so you begin the day on a natural high with energy.

Wash Your Face

It doesn’t matter if you shower in the evening or the morning – you need to wash your face in the morning.

Not only is it good for your skin, but it is also good for your whole person. A few minutes of self-care in the morning is critical.

Drink Water

We all know the importance of drinking water, but many of us start our journey towards eight glasses a day later in the day. We should really start drinking water first thing in the morning.

According to NBC News, “We get dehydrated overnight (especially if nature calls and you’re using the bathroom in the pre-dawn hours) […] A glass or two of H2O first thing helps replenish your body’s hydration stores. It also starts your metabolism on the right foot (since the body relies on water to keep all your digestive processes running smoothly).”

Enjoy a Cup of Coffee

Take time each money to enjoy a cup of coffee. The key here is to enjoy it. The point isn’t drinking coffee – it is spending a few minutes to slow down and savor something before the busyness of the day fully begins.

Eat Breakfast at Home

In the past, I was guilty of grabbing something small and eating breakfast on the go. I have since learned that I feel better if I eat a healthy breakfast at home. It’s a great way to get your metabolism going and helps you eat something healthier than fast food on the go.

Meditate

Taking just a few minutes to sit, pause, and meditate makes a big difference. Women’s Health points out, “Research has found that practicing meditation is basically the holy grail for health, helping to reduce stress, manage anxiety, increase productivity, help weight loss, motivate you to exercise and make you a nicer person.”

Write or Review Your To Do List

The last thing I do before I head out the door is check my To Do list. Knowing what I need to do that day helps me make a plan and get busy.

What is your morning routine?

Budget-Friendly Back to School Shopping Tips

2022 has been rough on bank accounts, which is why now is the time to prepare for back to school shopping.

Sure, you still have a while before school starts back. But with inflation, it’s wiser to get a head start on back to school shopping.

One 2022 survey found, “Parents are worried about being able to fill backpacks thanks to ongoing supply chain issues, up 9 percentage points between April and May. The survey found that two-thirds of parents are very concerned about how inflation will impact school shopping.”

We are already seeing how inflation is affecting back to school shopping.

For example, inflation is hitting most industries – including school supplies. Sources suggest the price of school materials may rise by 10 to 25%.

Use these back to school shopping tips to protect your wallet.

Shop Your Closet First

Before you buy the first school supply or new outfit, check your closets!

My girls tend to bring home many school supplies that can be reused the next year, such as calculators, rulers, pens, and pencils.

Instead of buying everything brand new, only replace the items that need replacing.

As much as we love a new wardrobe, keep this same idea in mind.

Don’t buy several new pairs of jeans if the jeans your kids already have look good and fit.

Head to Overstock Stores

I love doing my back to school clothes shopping at overstock stores like T.J. Maxx.

I can purchase my girl’s designer goods at great prices, ensuring they look fabulous, and I have money left over for school supplies.

Shop Online and Kid-Free

When it comes to back to school shopping, try to do it alone.

It is much easier to shop for back to school clothing when your kids aren’t with you since they will want everything they don’t actually need (such as accessories) and items that are higher prices. Plus, it’ll take so much longer!

I find it is much easier to shop online for school supplies and clothing – especially if they offer easy returns.

Some stores, like Target, are even partnering with local schools to have items for school supply lists ready for online ordering.

Get School Supplies at the Drugstore

I always forget drug stores sell school supplies.

Drug stores, such as CVS and Walgreens, offer rewards, and you can use the rewards points you’ve been saving for name brand school supplies.

Use Discounted Gift Cards

Did you know you can purchase discounted gift cards and use them to shop like normal?

This is a great tip for back to school shopping and Christmas shopping.

Sites, such as CardBear, allow you to purchase a gift card for a specific retailer at a lower price.

For example, if you want to purchase a $25 Target gift card, CardBear will take you to a site that is offering the $25 gift card for $20.

Scan While You Shop

Before you purchase anything, do a price comparison.

If you are shopping in a store, use Amazon’s barcode scanner to do a quick price check.

If you are shopping online, use a browser extension, such as Price, to compare prices online for every item you shop for.

Sign Up for Price Drop Alerts

For more expensive purchases, such as school-required electronics, sign up for price drop alerts.

CamelCamelCamel is an easy to use price drop website that will send you a notification when the item you are looking for hits the price range you want.

Buy in Bulk with Friends

You’re not the only parent worried about inflation and back to school shopping.

Ask your friends (or parents of your kid’s classmates) if they are interested in buying supplies in bulk from a wholesaler like Sam’s Club or Amazon.

Then, split the costs using Venmo.

10 Tips for Finding Motivation to Exercise

Exercise is so important, but I’d be lying if I said it was always easy.

Some days I am tired. Some days I am lazy. Some days I don’t feel like I have time.

On these days, I need all the motivation to exercise I can get.

I’m betting I’m not the only one who has these days.

In a quest to find the motivation to exercise, I’ve discovered these tricks.

1. Do Something You Enjoy

It’s hard to be motivated to exercise if you hate what you’re doing.

Find the type of exercise you enjoy and stick with it!

Whether this is running outdoors, taking a Barre class with friends, or riding your Peloton inside, exercise in the way that brings you the most job.

2. Reward Yourself

Nothing motivates me to exercise as much as a reward at the end.

I like to feel like I have earned that glass of wine at the end of the night or that I can indulge in dessert with lunch.

3. Post Motivational Sayings

I love a good motivational saying. So much so that I tend to write them out and leave them in places I will see.

You can find these posted motivational reminders on my bathroom mirror, my car dashboard, and on my bike.

4. Make It Part of Your Routine

I have a skincare routine and I have an exercise routine.

Both of these routines are an important part of my self-care.

But a routine doesn’t happen without effort.

I had to make exercise a part of my daily routine, just like cleaning my face.

5. Exercise with a Friend

I am much more motivated to exercise if I am exercising with a friend.

First, it is a nice way to keep up with my girlfriends who are just as busy as I am.

Next, I would feel totally guilty bailing on a friend.

Last, friends encourage you and cheer you on.

6. Remember Your Why

On the days when I am struggling the most to exercise, I try to remember my why.

My whys are my health and my family.

I want to do all I can to ensure my daughters have a healthy mom for as long as possible.

Exercise is one of the best ways to make that happen.

7. Buy Cute Workout Gear

It may seem a little silly, but cute workout gear goes a long way towards motivating me.

If I have a cute outfit to wear, I’m more likely to wear it. And if I wear it, I’m more likely to exercise.

I have found this to be especially true with shoes.

8. Keep Track

Did you ever keep a chore chart with your kids? My girls got stickers for completing their chores.

This same trick is a great motivation for adults.

I like to add a checkmark or a star sticker to my calendar on the days when I exercise.

If you want to keep track digitally, there are tons of fitness apps that do so.

9. Pay for Classes

No one wants to waste money – especially with inflation.

If I pay for a class, I am much more likely to exercise simply because I don’t want to feel guilty for paying for something I am not using.

10. Listen to a Story Only When You Workout

My last trick is to find an audiobook or podcast that you can’t stop listening to.

However, the only time I allow myself to listen to it is when I am exercising.

What tricks do you have to help you find motivation to exercise?

Summer Survival for Working Moms

Summer is here and the living is easy. Or is it?

Summer should be fun and relaxing, but for working moms, summer can be challenging.

Most working moms don’t get several weeks of vacation during the summer, which means they have to find ways to work and take care of their kids.

If these moms work from home, it means saying goodbye to the silence they’ve been accustomed to and hello to endless distractions.

It doesn’t have to be this way!

Here are several tips to help you not only survive summer as a working mom but also thrive!

Enroll the Kids in Camp

I am a huge fan of summer camps. They allow kids to have fun, learn, and grow in safe spaces while giving working moms the help they so desperately need.

We've signed up the kids for four weeks of summer camp at Chelsea Piers. They offer a variety of sports and world-class facilities for kids to pursue their passions and explore their athletic abilities.

Here are 5 Reasons to Enroll Your Kids at Chelsea Piers Summer Camp

Make a Summer Routine

Summer is easier with a routine.

We don’t make a super rigid routine, but it does help for my girls to know what is expected of them every day.

We have a modified chore chart for the summer months, and they have school tasks, such as summer reading.

We also make space for fun in our schedule, such as Monday Movie Nights.

Use Summer as a Learning Opportunity

Since my girls have a little extra time in the summer, I try to use it as a learning opportunity.

For example, I have my daughters cook one night each week to teach them some basic cooking skills.

Host Friends

When I work from home, I have found it is easier if my kids have a distraction rather than being a distraction.

One of the best ways I have found to distract them is to host their friends over.

It may sound crazy, but when my girls are playing happily with their friends, they are quieter and bother me less.

Get Things to Keep Kids Occupied

I believe summer is the time when you should splurge on that special toy or device that they’ve been begging for.

If the new Nintendo Switch will keep them busy, I’m all for it.

If the added subscription to Discovery + allows them to binge watch Animal Planet, go for it.

Ask Kids for Summer Must-Do List

As a working mom, your time is limited.

I want to give my girls a fun summer, but it simply isn’t possible to do everything they want with my work schedule.

That’s why I start each summer by asking them to make a summer bucket list – or a list of summer must-dos.

Set Up Snack Bins

One thing that surprises my every summer is how quickly my girls empty out the snack cabinet.

To help with this issue, I set up snack bins.

These bins are set up each week so my girls can easily get the snacks they want, but they can also see how many snacks they have for the rest of the week.

Take Vacation Days

Finally, make sure you take your vacation days! Summer is busy, but you deserve time off to have some fun with your family.

What tips do you have for surviving summer as a working mom?

Ways to Celebrate AAPIHM (Asian American Pacific Islander Heritage Month)

As an Asian American woman, wife, and mother, I look forward to celebrating my family’s heritage each May during Asian American Pacific Islander Heritage Month (AAPIHM).

As one of the 23 million Americans who identify as AAPI, I am happy to see that AAPIHM is becoming bigger across the country. But it still has a long way to go.

Here are some ideas for incorporating AAPIHM celebrations into your own home.

What to Know About Asian American Pacific Islander Heritage Month

Here are some fast facts about AAPIHM:

• Asian American Pacific Islander Heritage Month was originally a week signed into law by President Carter in 1978, designating a week to celebrate the AAPI community.

• President George H. W. Bush signed a bill in 1990 that extended the week into the entire month, and President Obama changed the name to Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month in 2009.

• According to GoodGoodGood, “Lawmakers chose May because of its historical significance for the AAPI community. It commemorates the immigration of the first Japanese people to the United States, as well as Golden Spike Day (May 10, 1869), which marked the completion of the transcontinental railroad, largely built by Chinese laborers.”

• AAPI stands for Asian American and Pacific Islander. The term describes a diverse and fast-growing population of Americans representing roughly 50 ethnic groups from more than 40 countries.

It doesn’t matter if you are AAPI or not; you can still celebrate this special month.

Watch AAPI Movies

Spend some time this month watching movies featuring actors from the AAPI community.

If you are looking for movies to watch with your kids, check out this list of 8 Movies to Watch On Disney+ To Celebrate Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month.

In addition, HBO Max is offering an Asian American and Pacific Islander Voices collection.

And Netflix subscribers have access to its Celebrate Asian American and Pacific Islander Stories collection.

Head to a Museum

Museums across the country feature AAPI exhibits, so this is the ideal time to visit a museum.

Check out this list from House Beautiful of Art Museums That Honor the AAPI Community, such as The Asian Art Museum of San Francisco.

Learn About Other Cultures

I was born in Hong Kong and am a proud member of the AAPI community, but that doesn’t mean that I know everything about each ethnicity that composes this beautiful community of people.

For example, as an Asian American, there is a lot I could learn about Pacific Islanders. So I’m using this special month to learn about other cultures.

Read Books by AAPI Authors

Another way to recognize AAPIHM is to read books written by AAPI authors, such as Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng.

You can find several choices in Good Housekeeping’s 34 Entertaining and Enlightening Books by Asian Authors.

Enjoy Different Cuisines

It’s no secret that I love food. So AAPIHM is the perfect excuse for me to eat all the delicious dishes I grew up eating with my family and enjoy new-to-me foods from other AAPI cultures.

Serve the Community

One of the greatest things I have come across is the Heart of Dinner in New York City.

Heart of Dinner is a nonprofit that provides meals to elders of the AAPI community, who are often vulnerable. Those in New York can volunteer to pack meals, deliver meals, write notes, or work behind the scenes. If you live anywhere else in the world, you can donate.

How do you plan to recognize AAPIHM?

Cleaning Tips for Moms Without Maids

As much as I would love a regular cleaning service, I've chosen to do as much of the cleaning as I can so I can spend my money on bags and shoes.

As a busy working mom, there are times when it is hard to stay on top of the housework. However, I have found some ways to keep my house clean without losing my mind through trial and error.

NOTE - While I love a clean house, I have also learned to accept imperfection. There are seasons when life is busier, and the house is messier. If you are in one of those seasons, don't beat yourself up.

Here are the things I am doing to keep my house clean without a maid.

Create a Cleaning Schedule

One of the most effective ways to keep my house clean and presentable is to keep a cleaning schedule. So I planned out certain days when I could do regular household chores.

Monday – Living Room and Shared Spaces
Tuesday – Bedrooms
Wednesday – Kitchen
Thursday – Bathrooms
Friday – Floors and Dusting
Weekends – Deep Cleaning Needs

When we stick to this schedule, it takes away the pressure to do everything at once.

Enlist Family Help

Someone told me when my girls were babies that instead of waiting to clean while they were sleeping, to do the cleaning when they were awake and watching. This teaches kids the importance of cleaning (and how to clean).

As a result, my girls have seen me clean our home since they were little, and now they are big enough to help.

My husband and I have also talked about which chores we hate and which ones we love and delegated them accordingly. For example, my husband hates cleaning bathrooms, but he doesn't mind doing dishes. I hate doing dishes, so we trade these chores with one another.

Whistle While You Work

Cleaning your home is so much better if you find ways to make it enjoyable. When the whole family is cleaning together, such as Saturday morning deep cleanings, we play music and dance and sing as we clean. When I am cleaning on my own, I put on a podcast or audiobook.

Make a Quick Cleanup Part of Your Evening Routine

Deep cleaning Saturdays haven't been as bad or time-consuming since we started making 15-minute cleanups part of our evening routine. After dinner, we spend 15 minutes picking up from the day. Someone in our home is doing the dishes while the others walk around, pick up things, and put them where they belong. Someone else is busy wiping down the counters.

Embrace a Less is More Philosophy

The more stuff you have to clean, the harder it will be. That's why I've embraced the idea that "less is more." Years ago, I started following the idea of one thing in, one thing out – and it has made a huge difference! Whenever I make a purchase, I follow it with a donation. It keeps my closets from overflowing and my shelves from turning into mounds of clutter.

Get the Right Tools

If you don't have the right cleaning tools, you'll make more work for yourself. We have a robot vacuum and a robot map, and both were well worth every penny. But it's more than just fancy electronic gadgets. I also invest in quality cleaning products, such as Clorox. When I'm cleaning my home, I love to use @Clorox products, and I'm excited they've launched another sustainable option with the NEW Clorox Multi-Purpose Refillable Cleaners! With the recyclable pods, I can use my bottle up to 30 times, which means 80% less plastic waste - not to mention, it's easier on my wallet too!

Do you have any cleaning tips to share?

Treat Yourself This Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day takes place this Sunday. While I have had many wonderful Mother’s Days and enjoyed several homemade crafts, I have learned to lower my expectations.

My husband and my daughters try their best to make me feel special, but sometimes there are things I want that they just don’t know how to give me.

That’s why I always try to find at least one way to treat myself on Mother’s Day. Here are a few suggestions if you want to follow my lead.

Have Your Car Cleaned

Mom’s cars are notoriously messy. Why? Because kids! In addition to all the trash they leave behind, there are crushed bits of food on the floorboards and stains on the mats. So this Mother’s Day, consider getting your car cleaned and detailed.

Let Someone Else Clean Your House

If you can make it happen with your budget, use Mother’s Day as an excuse to pay someone to do a deep house cleaning. You’re busy working and taking care of kids – let someone else clean the baseboards!

*If you can’t afford it, ask your spouse or kids to clean for you as your Mother’s Day gift.

Enjoy a Spa Treatment

If you can swing it, treat yourself to a full spa day. Book a manicure or pedicure if you can’t spend four hours at the spa. And if you are really limited, treat yourself to an at-home spa day. Pull out your supplies and lock the bedroom door.

Sit in Silence

I love my girls, and I love being a mom. But sometimes I miss a quiet house (I know I will miss all the noise one day!). Sometimes the best way to treat myself is simply slipping outside and sitting in silence for a few minutes.

Don’t Cook

Use Mother’s Day to get out of cooking or cleaning the dishes. Instead, go to your favorite restaurant (don’t forget to make a reservation to avoid long Mother’s Day waits). Order your favorite food in. Or allow your family to cook for you.

Go to Your Favorite Store Alone

There are few things as relaxing to me as wandering the aisles of Target or T.J. Maxx alone. So, on Mother’s Day, may you find the time to wander your favorite store aimlessly, without children asking you to buy them everything or feeling rushed to get home.

Eat Something You Regularly Wouldn’t

Mom eating typically involves eating foods my girls will also eat. On Mother’s Day, I am going to eat what I want to eat. No kid-friendly menus for me! It is also a day when calories don’t count, so I will indulge in delicious treats and drinks.

Splurge on the Shoes and the Bag

It’s no secret that I love shoes and bags, so it shouldn’t be a surprise that I think both make perfect Mother’s Day gifts. If I don’t unwrap one from my family, I may just treat myself.

Take a Nap

Moms are tired. No matter what stage you are in as far as parenting goes, you are tired. So take time today to get a nap. Ideally, after the delicious lunch someone else cooked for you.

Control the Remote

On Mother’s Day, you get to control the remote! No kids TV for you. Binge-watch your favorite shows or catch up on that series you’ve been dying to watch.

Sleep In

Start your Mother’s Day the right way by sleeping in. If the kids are old enough, let them take care of themselves in the morning. (Helpful tip – leave out the remote and a box of cereal on the counter). If they aren’t old enough, ask your partner to take care of them for you in the morning.

Let Go of Guilt

On Mother’s Day, try to let go of the guilt. All moms carry around some mom guilt. Sadly, most of this guilt isn’t even relevant. It’s baggage about stuff that doesn’t really matter in the long run (such as not making elaborate school lunches). On Mother’s Day, remind yourself why you are a good mom.

Happy Mother’s Day!