Why You Need to Prioritize Your Marriage (and How)

Ask anyone who has been married as long as I have, and they will tell you it hasn’t always been easy. And, if they tell you otherwise, they are lying. Marriage is hard, but a strong marriage is worth all the hard work it takes to get it there.

If you and your spouse and both working, you have to learn to balance your relationship with your work life and schedule. If you are parents, you have to learn how to keep prioritizing your marriage when little people are demanding so much of your attention all the time. Between work and kids, if I didn’t prioritize my marriage, it would be easy to let it fall apart. Thankfully, that hasn’t happened.

Whether you are newly married or have been married for decades, the following tips for how to prioritize your marriage may be just what you need to remember why you two got married in the first place.

Date (and Date Some More!)

Remember when you were first dating, and you could not wait for date night? Do you remember how much effort you put into picking out your outfit and getting ready? After you’ve been married for a while, it is possible to let date nights fall to the wayside – especially if you are busy and have children.

Don’t let this happen! Book a babysitter, get dressed up and go somewhere special! And, if you can’t find or afford a babysitter, go for a lunch date while the kids are in school!

Travel Together

If you have been following me, you know I believe it is important to travel kid-free with your spouse. This is such a good way to reconnect with one another without the usual distractions.

Don’t Act Like Roommates

After living together for a lengthy amount of time, you may find yourself acting like roommates instead of spouses. If you seem just to be passing each other on your way in and out the day, it’s time to make a change. Instead, try to identify the behaviors that are more like roommates than husband and wife (see Are You a Roommate or a Spouse Checklist) and then look for ways to reconnect.

Embrace Couple Rituals

Whether you realize it or not, the smallest rituals can make the biggest difference in a marriage. For example, make it part of your daily ritual to give your spouse a kiss when you get home from work or make a point to discuss your day before you go to sleep.

Find a Hobby You Can Do Together

A great way to reconnect with your spouse is to embrace a new hobby together. In most relationships, the husband and wife have separate hobbies. But, when they have a unified hobby, it provides a wonderful way to spend time together doing something you both enjoy.

Don’t Check Out – Check In!

Finally, marriages depend on each spouse being emotionally invested. The best way to stay emotionally invested is to keep checking in. Instead of checking out of the emotional day-to-day of your spouse’s life, check in. For instance, throughout the day, send texts or DMs to one another rather than checking out and talking less and less. Not only will this help you stay connected to one another, but it will also let your spouse know you are thinking of him when you are apart.