Forget FOMO. Embrace JOMO.

We all know what FOMO is, but even if we know what the “fear of missing out” looks likes, it doesn’t mean we don’t suffer from it. For adults, this often looks like maxing out our calendar and our credit cards because we don’t want to miss out on anything. For parents, this also comes in the form of fear of our kids missing out and signing them up for far too many things and buying them closets full of stuff.

If you are honest with yourself and recognize you struggle with FOMO, it’s time to learn to embrace JOMO – the joy of missing out. Yes, I said JOY. As you change your habits of overindulging, overcompensating, and overspending, you will discover the joy in missing out.

How FOMO Sucks the Life Out of Us

According to the Seattle Times, FOMO “is associated with sleep problems, fatigue and stress.” As we strive to do more and be more based on what it seems like everyone else is doing, we are slowly killing ourselves. The truth is – there will always be someone who does more and has more. No matter how much you do, someone will “one-up” you. So, if you are spending your life trying to do a much or more than others just so you don’t miss anything, you will never win.

Learn the Joy of Saying No

If you are constantly saying “yes” from FOMO, you will end up so tired that there is no room for joy in your life. The New York Times explains, “When we dole out an easy yes instead of a difficult no, we tend to overcommit our time, energy and finances.” JOMO starts with learning how to say no. I know saying no can be challenging for many women, but there is such joy in saying no! Saying no puts you back in control of your own life.

Be Content and Practice Gratitude

Since FOMO stems from a fear of missing out, try to change the way you think by focusing on what you do have instead of what you don’t. For example, make a point to practice gratitude daily. Take note of the things you are thankful for in your life. Find ways to be content with what you have instead of unhappily seeking more and more.

Focus Your Attention on the Things You LOVE

When you are living with FOMO, you will eventually realize that by doing everything, you are really doing nothing. For example, you are doing so much that you are giving just a small amount of yourself to each thing. You are, in essence, spreading yourself too thin. It is better to go all-in for the few things you really love than give small bits of yourself to several things you aren’t that crazy about.

Think of it this way – If you were to enroll in every class offered, you wouldn’t learn anything substantial because it would be too much. In contrast, if you only enrolled in one or two classes and gave them your full attention, you would actually learn something. As the saying goes, “Every YES is a NO to something else.” When you say yes to everything, you are saying no to many more things.

JOMO is Better All Around

In the book, Happiness by Design: Change What You Do, Not How You Think, Daniel Kahneman writes, “Your happiness is determined by how you allocate your attention. What you attend to drives your behavior and it determines your happiness.” Find your joy by practicing gratitude for what you already have, learning to say no, and focusing your attention on the things you love.

“Each person’s mileage is going to vary. But if you feel overcommitted, no is a small word that can remind you how much control you have over your destiny.”