How to Deal with Self-Doubt as a Mom

As much as I can appear on social media to have it all together, I struggle with self-doubt just like any other mom. I think the world has set women up to doubt themselves – mothers, especially. According to Psychology, “Self-doubt has  been  defined  as  uncertainty  about one’s abilities, potential for success, or competence in performance situations.”

How many times have you questioned your abilities as a mom? But, even though it is common, it doesn’t mean we should just accept it. Self-doubt is unhealthy and can actually make it harder for us to succeed.

Here are the 6 things I am trying to do when self-doubt starts nagging.

1. Treat Yourself Like a Friend

Be honest with yourself. You are much harder on yourself than you would ever be to one of your friends. You say things to the face in the mirror that you would never utter aloud to someone you care about. When you start to think bad thoughts about yourself, try practicing self-compassion instead. If you wouldn’t say it to a friend, then don’t say it to yourself.

2. Change Your Thought Pattern

Along those same lines, you need to change your thought pattern. If you tend to think negatively (especially about yourself and your abilities), you need to stop. When those thoughts cross your mind, don’t let yourself go there. Instead, change your train of thought and don’t dwell on the negativity.

3. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

A huge problem for moms is that we spend way too much time comparing ourselves to other moms. The comparison trap leads to self-doubt. Speaking of comparing yourself, don’t compare your mothering to someone else’s highlight reel (as seen on social media). Instead of focusing on what someone else does better, remind yourself what you do well.

4. Get to the Root of It

I think it is important for you to get to the root of the issue, too. There are times when it is important to think about why you may be feeling the way you are. Is this an ongoing feeling or something new in this season of life? Could you just be hungry or tired? Is it something you need to talk to a therapist about?

5. Surround Yourself with Positivity

Negative thinking is contagious. If you spend time talking with negative people, it won’t be long until you start thinking negatively, too. In the same way, if you are listening or reading negative things, then your mind is going to be full of negativity. Instead, surround yourself with positive people and ideas.

6. Be Proud (But Not Prideful)

One more thing. Women are taught to be modest, but too often, that means not acknowledging our accomplishments. We’ve all done something that we are proud of. Own it. Hang that certificate on your wall. When thoughts of self-doubt start trickling in, remember what you have accomplished. Begin with the basics – you’ve kept your kids alive. Good job, Mom!